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August 23, 2004 Story

Old Room, New Rules: Grads Move Back in With Mom, Dad
Parents and their 20-Something Kids Negotiate As More of Them Return Home After College

In Schaumburg, Ami Chadian, 23, stripped the "Beverly Hills, 90210" posters from her old bedroom wall and replaced them with framed pictures of tulips. In Glen Ellyn, Ryan Hackett, 24, began cooking the family dinner. And in Shorewood, Jennifer Schild, 23, adjusted how she spent time with her boyfriend because, she figured, Mom wouldn't appreciate a closed bedroom door.

Throughout the region and across the country, more 20-somethings are moving back in with their parents. They are the gainfully employed and the hoping-to-be-employed, the savers and the ones who can't manage rent. And this summer, as recent college graduates settle into life away from campus, they are adjusting to a second go-round of living with Mom and Dad.

About 64 percent of this year's college graduating class planned to move home after receiving a diploma, and 38 percent expected to stay for more than seven months, according to an online survey of 1,108 students by MonsterTrak, a job Web site for college students. That's up from just a few years ago. In 2001, 13 percent of respondents said they were planning to live with their parents for more than seven months, MonsterTrak found. Other research sees similar numbers. About 45 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds and 15 percent of 25- to 29-year-olds live with their parents, according to an analysis of U.S. census data by the Research Network on Transitions to Adulthood and Public Policy, which was funded by the MacArthur Foundation. In 1970, 6 percent of women and 9 percent of men ages 25 to 34 lived with their parents, according to the U.S. census.

A number of factors--both economic and demographic--are driving the trend. Rents are high, especially in big cities where many young people want to live. Student loans add to the burden, with the average undergraduate debt nearing $19,000. Jobs aren't plentiful, either. A soft economy has squeezed entry-level openings. The perks of going home can be excellent. Home cooking, easy access to laundry and free room and board are an easy sell.

And, experts say, this generation of young people has more in common with their parents than the generation that came of age during the 1960s and '70s, when social upheaval created a cultural divide between parent and child.

"There's less of a stigma to going back home than before," said David Morrison, president of the research firm TWENTYSOMETHING Inc. "It's seen as a normal thing to do." But researchers say the move back home can cause tension, as parents readjust to sharing their space and figure out how much latitude to grant their grown-up children.

"It's difficult trying not to be a parent. You can't help it," said Opal Byczek, whose daughter, Jill, 23, moved back into her River Forest home last year. "When she leaves the house, you always say, `Where are you going?' when you know you should keep your mouth shut." Byczek said she enjoys getting to know her daughter as an adult, but "sometimes you get used to being alone."

Among the 20-somethings who return home, one pattern is clear: It's seen as a logical step, just another post-college option. Chadian, for instance, said she knew throughout her four years at Northwestern University that she would move back with her parents. "It was, let me go back home, see how my job is, see where my friends end up. It's kind of a regrouping," she said. Chadian ticks off the advantages of suburbia: easy parking, the chance to bond with her parents, a way to save money for graduate school and the opportunity to spend time with her extended family, many of whom are Indian immigrants. Plus, she said, she's close enough to friends in Chicago that she can get out.

Hackett said a difficult job search brought him back home after graduating from Marquette University. Home has its advantages, Hackett said. He enjoys attending concerts with his dad and going out for beer with him, activities that weren't an option in high school. But, he said, "I'm 24. I'm starting to think it's time to move on." Schild, who moved into her own apartment after a year of living with her parents, said that after graduating from Eastern Illinois University, "financially, going back home was the only option."

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